rambling.

... it comes that time when of course we have to grow up. i turn 24 on the 24th of this month and it seems like just yesterday i was 12. why is that? where the did the time go? wasn't i just outside playing in the mud and staying up way past my bed time? i guess its rather interesting to see what i have become from that scared sixth grader and now im going to be going into a *hopefully* english ed. masters program. and i will be the one teaching that scared sixth grader (or hopefully not - i want to deal with high schoolers) anyways. it's weird to see that just last year i was done with school.  at least my undergrad. and now a year later im back in it. i jumped back on the wagon. hopefully its a covered one.  ahh. birthday birthday birthday time.  this will be the 4th year without my great grandma. my 21st birthday was the big one and the first year without her. if you didnt know by now i was born on her birthday. i feel like it was a great honor to be born on your great grandmothers birthday on a cold and more than likely blizzard-type buffalo day.  eh. the day should be happy. i know it should but something always feels like its missing.  i know with time it should get easier. but something inside of me isnt letting go... hmm.

moving on to a less sad thing about my birthday. ill be in class for most of it which is okay kind of get my mind off of sad things and into literature up the ying yang.  and then hopefully some sort of fun.ness will happen after class. even if it is a trip to panos with kari and leisha. im okay with it.  yuppers. or even if that doesnt take place. im okay with it really i am.  sometimes id rather just celebrate my birthday on an off day. like the weekend. and have fun fun fun.  im tired now. and this really doesnt have an ending. actually. it will have an ending.

basically lesson of blog #2 is ... enjoy life. i think i took things for granted when i was younger and growing up because i didnt realize what i had in front of me. and you always think you'll realize it once its gone but folks honestly i never did.  i think it takes the right people in your life(a big thank you) to point things out for you to actually realize things. like wow -- you really are an asshole or a bitch or whatever. and so on.  so i say get stoked on life and enjoy it because you never really know when its your turn to get off this crazy crazy ride we are on called life.  im stoked. are you??!?!?!?