Say it ain't so

 

i have a talent for making pain seem beautiful.

 

or maybe,it’s not a talent, but a curse.

 

Love would find forgiveness

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PEce7jzmKeg. 

What matters

It’s hard to explain - the not wanting you, but still wishing we had happened for real, still wishing we had taken a chance, jumped and fallen. i guess i’d rather have scars from what we were, and how we burned, than bruises from trying to hold on to what never was. i wish i hadn’t been afraid when it mattered; i wish i had known silence was a way to lose you, too, i wish i had told you those six words. i wish it still mattered, or at least i wish it didn’t. 

Cheers

Here's to 32 years on this planet 

Note to self

 Stop blaming yourself for other peoples shitty doings to you. 
They fucked up. Not you. 

Choices.

Moving on isn’t something that just happens. It’s a choice. It’s acknowledging and accepting that things are not what they were and it’s actively deciding to not let that change affect you. 

My name is Beth

Soon to be 32 and bored, grieving over loss, sorry to be heavy but heavy is the cost....

I wish

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favorite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favorite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favorite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

This.

She notices

 She noticed everything about him. She noticed the freckles under his eyes and memorized the curves on his face. She picked out the way his eyes expanded when he was talking about his favorite things. She noticed how he rubbed her arm distractedly while they watched movies. She recognized the love he had for her. She wished for nothing more. 

Be kind

 

Be kind to yourself. Stop telling yourself that whatever you are struggling with “should” be easy. If something is hard for you, it is hard for you. There are probably reasons, though those may just be how you are wired. Acknowledge these things. When you finish something hard, be proud! Celebrate a little.

 

And really, just stop saying “should” to yourself about your thoughts and feelings in any context. You feel how you feel. The things in your head are the things in your head. You can’t change either directly through sheer force of will. You can only change what you do. Stop beating yourself up for who and what you are right now–it isn’t productive. Focus on moving forward.

 

I'll always encourage

I'll always encourage the reckless texts confessing your feelings. The kind where you throw your phone after hitting send.

I’ll always encourage the horribly straightforward conversations at 3am when conversations get deep and you can’t always put how you feel into words.

I’ll always encourage you to say the things that make your heart beat fast and your legs shake. Because i know how alive you feel when you feel something for someone else.

 

10:53

 The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear. 

Hello 2016

Today -
is the worst day of someone’s life
and the best day of someone else’s;
for some the time will stand still,
for others it will mercilessly slip;
some will begin today,
others will end.

 

live today -
so that you remember,
so that if tomorrow you end
you are happy you have had today.