Perception is everything.

"Guys think you're hot and unique and wanna fuck [you] but the market for taking home a tattooed up single mom....is much smaller.  You're fun to play with but not to keep."

I forgot being heavily tattooed makes me "unique". All guys are looking for these days are a "good fuck".  

tiny human

Sometimes I cant catch a break. Do I envy Owen's "sperm donor" to be able to do whatever he wants to do whenever he wants to and not have to worry about a tiny human 24-7. Do I envy him because he will never have sleepless nights, and he will never worry about making sure Owen is fed and changed. He will never change a diaper in his life. I realize he should be the one who is envious. He should be the one who has regret because Watching Owen grow up is a miracle in itself. Being a parent means more to me then any career or title I could ever have. My son will always be my responsibility and no one else's. I would never force feed someone to be a dad. I would never want that. Sometimes we all make decisions. Sometimes they are great and sometimes they are stupid. Owen has been the greatest decision of my life. He's brought joy to my life in soo many ways that his "sperm donor" is honestly missing this huge chunk of his life that he will never get back. So for those of you who are raising your child with someone else, be thankful for them. Respect them. Cheerish them. And know that there are people out in the world doing it alone and doing it just fine.  

Just a little hello.

There are two reasons why people don’t talk about things; either it doesn’t mean anything to them, or it means everything 

One foot in front of the other.

 Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress, which means you'll get there a little at a time, not all at once.  Life's not a race. Never was. Never will be. It's all about the little things. It's about experience and i still have a whole world in front of me to experience. It's a never ending journey. 

Do we all do this ?

Sometimes when I talk I feel as if should stop dead in my tracks, while my brain keeps on and on. 

 

If you could only feel what I've felt

 Where exactly do you put your hands on somebody who hurts everywhere? 

Where does the good go? 

Sigh

" I slip out and leave a note saying: I didn’t want you to only fuck me, I wanted you to love me. But I didn’t know what to convince you with besides my body.

 ".     

Goodnight.

http://youtu.be/24AZymbXGfM

Everyone has their reason that's the reason we are all going to die

Sometimes it's not about giving up or giving in it's about understanding boundaries and buttons and how people react and don't. If you knew I was dying would it change you? So many thoughts rush in my head so many damn thoughts. If seeing is believing then believe that we have lost our eyes 

Please note

Even the best fall down sometimes

: The moment of impact. The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you've never thought you've found them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, controlling how it's gonna affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. And wait. For the next collision

People come in and out of our lives

 I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

it's too late.

Step out the front door like a ghost

into the fog where no one notices

the contrast of white on white.

And in between the moon and you

the angels get a better view

of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.

I walk in the air between the rain

through myself and back again

Where? I don't know

i want to feel again

 He was laughing even as we kissed and kissed again. There is no better taste than someone else’s laughter in your mouth. 

Where do you stand?

I don’t want to be 
your entire world, no. 
I would be happy 
just to be your morning coffee, 
your hanging car keys, 
your wallet. 

Something seemingly 
insignificant, 
but if lost throws off 
your entire day.

fight.

Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. Family, love, sex but we only need one thing to actually be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threatened, we respond in one of two ways. We either run or we attack. There’s a scientific term for this, fight of flight. It’s instinct, we can’t control it or can we?

I never get flowers unless I buy them

 …throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.

Today -

 Everything fell apart in me. How are things with you? 

4:26

 If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it’s your duty to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life. 

 Charles Bukowski 

and you were lying when you said you didn’t love her anymore.

I keep telling myself

Everybody's hell's better than my own

And my hell's my own

I can’t shake this feeling that I'll never be good enough

i just want to lay in a field on a warm summer day looking at the clouds and try to understand 

You just want to feel them breathe.

 

Love doesn’t give you very many choices. When you love someone, you just want to be with them. If they break your heart, you will still love them. Because hearts are easy to break, and though love is tender and sometimes fragile, love isn’t.

Love sort of envelops you. It covers you like a giant shadow, then pulls you in like a blanket. You are so warm. The feeling surrounds you, and no matter how you feel, it is always there. You can’t escape it. But you wouldn’t want to. You are so, so safe. You can’t remember the last time you were this happy. Were you ever? This happy?

Every second you are apart feels like hours. Sometimes, right before you fall asleep, you miss them so much it hurts. You ache for them. Their warmth. Their touch. Their smell. You need them. When you can’t sleep you wish and wish and wish that they would wake up and talk to you. When you dream of them, you wake up smiling. When pain stabs into you, you reach out for them. You cry to them, begging them to hold you and make it all go away, make everything go away.

Love addicts you to its feeling. You never, ever want to lose that feeling. Sometimes the fear of losing love drives people to do crazy things. Like buy a plane ticket. Make a phone call. Run out of a class. Cry. Write. Laugh.

Because when you love someone, you really love them. You give them your whole heart. You trust them. You never want to be away from them. Sometimes, you don’t even need their words. You just need them there.

Love is such an amazing thing, and too many people take it for granted. If you’re in love, don’t let it go. Don’t you dare let it go.

 

I’d choose you. Every goddamned time

 Everyone is someone’s devil.  

 In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.