What matters

It’s hard to explain - the not wanting you, but still wishing we had happened for real, still wishing we had taken a chance, jumped and fallen. i guess i’d rather have scars from what we were, and how we burned, than bruises from trying to hold on to what never was. i wish i hadn’t been afraid when it mattered; i wish i had known silence was a way to lose you, too, i wish i had told you those six words. i wish it still mattered, or at least i wish it didn’t.